Although small and seemingly simple, taking time to celebrate others builds them up.
My son’s friend walked into our house, stopped in our kitchen, and flashed a big toothy grin at my wife and us.
“I passed my math test.”
We cheered and congratulated him, letting him know how proud we were of him. Over the last couple of years, he’s struggled academically because he’s from an inner city school, and the transition to our area was rough, so we knew this was a big win for him.
Growing up, I never remember sharing that kind of information with any of my friends’ parents. They knew next to nothing about me, and I never felt the need, or the comfort level, to share anything personal with them. So why was this child doing this with us?
It’s for the same reason that so many of my students share the ups and downs of their lives with me. I get a lot of emails from them about what colleges they get into and what scholarships they’ve earned. I get pulled after class to hear about exciting weekend plans, prom dress choices, what new Pokémon was captured, and what movies were seen. Why? It’s because I take an active interest in their lives and celebrate their achievements. It seems like a simple concept, but it means so much to them.
Post graduation, there’s been an outpouring of emotion directed at me in the form of letters, presents, and emails. It’s been an embarrassment of riches with how many special expressions I’ve received. (As I write this, I just had a present delivered to me with a Dunkin’ gift card, a handwritten letter, and a bottle of syrup.) These multiple student expressions have made me think about why they feel compelled to do so. I don’t think it has anything to do with how I teach: it’s more practical and achievable than that. Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians asks to “encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (5.11), because encouragement spurs each of us on to be better and to build our relationship with one another. It’s that investment I make in them that pays off in dividends later on.
There are many daily investments made. For example, I start every day with a menu of announcements that contains sections focused solely on the students themselves and have nothing to do with the curriculum or academia. There is a countdown to graduation number. Below that is a section that announces each person’s birthday where we applaud and inquire what their birthday plans are. Underneath is a list of who got into what college, a statement that I follow up with questions about where they are in their college search process.
And that’s not all. During the year, honor roll certificates and varsity sports awards are funneled through my classroom, and whereas I could just put it on their desk, I instead announce it and we clap for that person. Articles from the local newspaper about them are hung up. Questions about weekend sports achievements are drawn attention to and ROTC ranks celebrated. Attendance is taken not by rattling off names but by asking discussion questions and sharing our opinions.
Does it pay off? Although the payoff is not my goal, yes, it certainly does. At graduation, after the caps are thrown into the air, I spend a half hour walking around and congratulating my now former students. During that time, I get dozens of hugs and handshakes. I get asked to have my picture taken with them. Grateful parents tell me how much their children talk about my class and how inspired they’ve been by it. And I would argue that it has very little to do with my abilities as a teacher, but has more to do with the personal interest I take in their lives. It has to do with the fact that they know I will be proud of their accomplishments, so they are excited to tell me about them because they love the validation they get from my excitement for them. And the best part is that anyone can do this. It just takes a moment of dedication.
Proverbs 27.17 tells us that “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Because I initially invested in them and showed them that someone cared, they in return cared for me because of the role I played in their lives. It’s why my son’s friend was excited to tell us about his math test: he knew we cared and would be proud of him. If more people took active interest in getting to know not just these kids but anyone by spending just a brief amount of time asking questions and reacting to the answers, so many would build connections and self-esteem.
One of my students asked me the other day what one of the most difficult parts of teaching seniors was. After some thought, I told him that it was how I emotionally and mentally pour a great deal into each graduating class only to have to start from the very beginning every September. But the truth is that despite the time together only coming to 10 months, I wouldn’t change it for anything. The relationships are temporary in terms of our time together, but the impact lasts beyond that time. Really, any bit of encouragement, no matter how small or short, is worth it.
It also creates individuals who learn to care for others and celebrate other people’s accomplishments. The grind of life is one that easily wears each of us down, but as Hebrews 3.13 lets us know, “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” I know that these students will go on to encourage others because of the model set forth to them, and the same will be true of anyone you encounter in your day.
Encouragement and inspiration is something that is so unquantifiable and difficult to predict, but it is also something that we should take every opportunity to do. Don’t view small times together as too brief to utilize but see them as opportunities to inspire. Take every chance to invest in others as that will be an expenditure that will pay off in making this place a better world.
Amen.
Pebbles in the Well 